I thought being in a different country, in a big city would be more than enough to jump start my new life journey. However, I have discovered that when you have lots and lots of new and exciting things around you, you tend to reflect on the old and miss their familiar comfort.
I will be the first to admit I was very gun ho (no idea where that saying came from) when I devised moving country after my major brake-up. “The physical distance will be a great distraction,” I said to myself, “once I leave on that plane, a weight will lift off my shoulders.” I mused with ignorance and hope. Well… reality is, well, reality and nothing in my grand plans said anything about me after 6 months still welling up and crying into my pillow until the wee hours of the morning because I desperately miss and pine for my lover.
I am frequently shocked and taken aback when going about my day and a smell, sound or sweet scene on TV will bring me to my knees, I suddenly feel like it was yesterday that I walked away from a man that loved me and the sadness cuts me deeply.
I know that with time the cuts will become shallower and the crying will cease, but for now they remain as a tie to the old and familiar, it is both a curse and a comfort…