So I am sitting in the gate lounge waiting for my flight to Vancouver to board, my guess is that it is going to be delayed. My only hint at this is the waiting time till boarding has been getting further away on the electronic boards not sooner.
Oh well i have had a few glasses of NZ bubbles and i am quite content to sit here and play around on my lap top.
One note is that there is an entire Rugby/football team sitting all around me in the lounge, going to be an entertaining flight I think.
I am leaving New Zealand this time with an optimism and excitement that definitely did not have when I left for Melbourne. I know that great things are ahead and I cannot wait
I have been feeling over the last few days that major change is like a yoyo. I am 100% certain I made the right choice, then later in the day I am wondering about it, then I am doubting everything and scrolling through old txts and photos, then I read a few self empowering quotes on my phone and I’m back to being 110% certain again. Then BAM something sentimental triggers and I’m back to doubting. (Thank goodness this is an internal struggle #overanalyzing #feelingbatshitcrazy )
Not sure how long this process will take but, it sure is taking it out of me. I don know how many times you can look a your ex-boyfriend’s Facebook page in 10 minutes and expect (hope) something will pop up like: “worst day of my life miss my ex-girlfriend so bad! Blah is feeling sad 😦 ” or “Realised today that my ex-girlfriend was the sexiest, strong, wonderful women in the whole wide world, how could I let her go?! Blah is feeling regretful 😦 ”
Yup I did it. Face-stalking is addictive and totally a form of self harm, so today I am confessing my face-stalking sins and I’m saying no more, I will refrain! Not only is it completely unrewarding, but it is conterproductive to my new journey. I need to accept my feelings of doubt and let them go, I have already made my decisions and it is now time to simply move on. (cue powerful soundtrack!)
D day is in 3 days, then I will be comfortably flying over the Tasman sea; playing candy crush, sipping on gin’n’soda and watching the cloud carpet float by. I am hoping that this physical distance from my past and the feelings that are attached to it will help me let those feelings go… fingers crossed.
Footnote 1: Face-stalking is when you obsessively look at someones profile on the social networking site Facebook, you look at their comments/ photos/shares, who has liked them, who those people are, etc, etc, etc… (it is pretty pathetic but sometimes very compelling)